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It Is Happening
“It’s here! It’s here!” Bosco stumbled down the stairs like the idiot brute he is. I lounged in my cardboard box and licked my paws. Bosco poked his head in and barked at me.
“What are you going on about you foul creature?”
“It’s here! The snow is here!” Drool from his giant tongue dropped into my box and I hissed. “Don’t be like that, fuzz bucket. You should get excited.”
“I never get excited, fart machine. Get your slobber out of my box. I’ve never gone out in the snow and I won’t start now.”
“Suit yourself.” He yipped, and ran to the front door. He sat there wagging his golden tail and barking while the humans layered their helpless, hairless, skin with colourful coats.
As soon as they opened the door, Bosco shot outside like a rocket. He buried his face in the mysterious white fluff and rolled around. The humans laughed and took pictures of him. He always made a spectacle of himself.
Curious, I hopped out of my box and poked my head through the small door they installed specifically for me. “Look!” screamed the smallest human, “Duchess is outside.” Cold air shot around me as I slipped out the door. I sat at the top step and saw a small patch of snow on the porch. My body shivered, but I didn’t let that dumb dog know. He couldn’t see my weaknesses.
I sniffed the snow, then placed one paw on the top of it. I squished it down until I could feel the wooden step. The cold pierced my paw and I lifted it to lick off the snow.
“NOPE! Not for me!”
High-tailing it back inside, I curled up next to the heat register to stop shivering. I never want to look at or touch that vile substance ever again! I don’t need the holidays. I’ll leave that nonsense to that drooling sack of fuzz and those insufferably happy humans.
One day I’ll make my move. My time will come to strike and I’ll rule this household and each one beside it. Who needs snow? It’s evil. Be gone!
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Main Photo Credit: Stock Snap